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You’re at the restaurant, the mains have just arrived and then he’ll randomly go “give me a kiss then.” Bleurgh.
What they wear: Questionably tight ripped jeans and t-shirts that are way too small for them. They also drowse themselves in aftershave, so that their smell lingers on – forever.
Celeb inspiration: Kem from Love Island How he will fuck you over: Cheat on you on a boys’ night out. What their profile picture looks like: A picture of him looking smart at the top of the Shard. Their Tinder bio: “Work hard, play harder” These fuckboys are the last true relic of metrosexuality in Britain.
Whether spotted around toon in the day or in Tup Tup, they’ll always have tall, well-groomed hair, a tan and threaded eyebrows.
What they do on the weekend: Read philosophers by the warm fire. Deepest insecurity: Going out with someone from “new money”. How he will fuck you over: Say you’re on different “intellectual” levels. What their profile picture looks like: They’re at an art gallery, staring longingly at a Matisse.
Their Tinder bio: “I’m love sick and sick of this love game.” What they wear: Cream chinos, black jeans, nice Ralphies and a blazer. How he will fuck you over: He’ll send a picture of you and rate you in his boys’ group chat. What their profile picture looks like: Professional pic of him in the club, in the middle of two mates who look identical to him, with his shirt open. Boys from Surrey will either tell you they’re from London or pretend to live a “proper” countryside lifestyle.
He texts me every time I'm around and asks if I want to 'meet up' with him.The centre and shoulder tread has modified tread knobs to improve braking performance and traction on hard surfaces.When gravity pulls you downhill, rely on the Maxxis High Roller II DH Tyre to keep you upright.What their profile picture looks like: Walking through the wild with their dog. What they do on the weekend: Go to the Warehouse Project to get absolutely fucked.Deepest insecurity: Someone saying London is better. How he will fuck you over: Ditches you for a girl who is more of a sesh head. What their profile picture looks like: Him and his crew at a festival, all of them bent forward ever so slightly so their tops go baggy and their legs look teeny. See Manchester but without the flashy footballer vibe.
The open and aggressive tread design of the Maxxis High Roller II DH Tyre provides excellent soil penetration alongside mud clearing ability.